Catelynn Contemplated Crashing Into Pole With Daughter In Car: ‘But I Wouldn’t Do It’

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Catelynn Lowell entered rehab on November 17 and January 17 for depression. On this week’s Teen Mom OG reunion, she revealed more chilling details on her suicidal thoughts.

Reunion show host

Dr. Drew Pinsky sat down with Lowell and her husband

Tyler Baltierra. While Lowell has been sober from marijuana, Baltierra admitted he still smokes the substance.

“I don’t smoke around her,” he said.

>PHOTOS: Cocaine, Gun Fights & Overdoses: Catelynn & Tyler’s Drug Secrets Exposed

Lowell then cried while explaining her “emotional year.” She entered treatment twice when she began experiencing suicidal thoughts following a miscarriage.

“If I don’t go somewhere else today, I’m going to off myself and life would be 10 times better,” she said. “I could picture myself driving into an electrical pole off the road, praying it would kill me. But I wouldn’t do it because I had my kid in the backseat.”

Baltierra’s father

Butch joined the stage via Skype from rehab. He told viewers that he has been sober from drugs and alcohol since November 14.

>PHOTOS: Catelynn Lowell Bullied By Jealous Women Online: ‘Girls Are Nasty & Mean!’

Ryan Edwards continued to refuse joining the stage with

Maci Bookout because she is a “trigger for him.” Instead, he had his mother

Jen and father

Larry join him with his wife

Mackenzie.

When Dr. Drew Pinsky asked if Edwards takes medication-assisted treatments, he responded, “I take them when I have a rough day because I don’t want to go back to rehab.”

Dr. Drew then made the conclusion that he doesn’t want to take a drug test for Bookout because opiates will show up in his system.

>PHOTOS: Underage Boozing, Boob Job Rumors, Wild Tats & Tax Debt! ‘Teen Mom’ Maci Bookout’s 12 Most Shocking Secrets & Scandals EXPOSED

His wife fired at Dr. Drew, “Oh my god! Here you are sitting here talking about how [the medication] is great, then here you are on a whole different side saying a whole different argument.”

Dr. Drew snapped back, “Are you ready to listen to me? If he takes it as a doctor prescribes it and he were following directions then I would say he’s under doctor prescription. If he’s taking it ad-lib, I can’t vouch for that. “

Edwards then fired, “I just want things to stay the same today so I can leave here and not have a fight with Maci so I can go home and next weekend still get my son.”

>PHOTOS: Baby Daddy From Hell! ‘Teen Mom’ Maci Bookout Slams Ex Ryan Edwards In New Tell-All: Read Her 10 Most Shocking Accusations

When Bookout joined the stage with Edwards’ parents, she said how he didn’t want to talk to her because he doesn’t want to be “put on the spot.”

Edwards entered rehab for heroin abuse after he was caught on camera falling asleep at the wheel and slurring his words in May. Edwards has refused to let him see their son

Bentley, 9, without his mother Jen’s supervision until he passes a drug test.

“It’s obvious to everyone something needs to happen to get a plan in place,” Bookout said. “Being able to trust Bentley is going to be safe.”

>PHOTOS:Cheating Shocker! Married ‘Teen Mom’ Dad Ryan Edwards Turns To Tinder For Hookups

Also on the episode,

Amber Portwood broke down in tears when her baby daddy

Gary Shirley and his wife

Kristina slammed her for only seeing her daughter

Leah two to three times during the summer.

“I’m really hurt because the last thing I want is for people to look at me like that person cause it’s not me,” she cried. “I feel horrible for feeling depressed and sad. I’m trying the hardest I can. As long as Leah knows I love her. I am here for her. That’s all that matters to me.”

Shirley and his wife both apologized, as Portwood said sorry as well.

>PHOTOS: No More Feuding! ‘Teen Mom’ Amber Portwood & Fiance Matt Baier Visit Her Ex Gary Shirley’s New Baby, Bring Gifts

But the digs didn’t end there, as Shirley expressed his concern over Portwood having a child with boyfriend

Andrew Glennon after only months of dating.

“It would be hard for me having a baby with somebody I just met,” he said. “Imagine she had a baby with [ex

Matt Baier]. I heard it was Matt or someone else’s. I don’t know whose it is. I think it is Andrew’s [baby].”

And finally,

Farrah Abraham joined Dr. Drew in her last appearance of the series. As readers know, she was fired from the show because of her treatment of producers and return to the adult film industry.

>PHOTOS: DUIs, Drugs, Debt & Secret Children: Amber Portwood’s Fiance Matt Baier’s 11 Most Shocking Secrets & Scandals

While Dr. Drew was emotional over their final sit down together, Abraham felt the complete opposite, as she accused the series of “contriving” fights.

“I want to give a round of applause for making me into a disgusting person,” she said.

When Dr. Drew asked Abraham if her daughter is aware of the work she does, she responded, “

Sophia knows I run stores… she knows about my social efforts in adult entertainment. There is nothing to hide.”

>PHOTOS: Teen Mom Porn Star Farrah Abraham’s Sex Book Seems True To Life

While her mom

Debra Danielsen told Dr. Drew that her “heart breaks” over her estranged relationship with her daughter, Abraham didn’t feel the same.

“I’m narcissistic… There is no love in me,” she said of her mother’s accusations. “I can’t deal with the negativity anymore in my life.”

When asked to give her final words on the MTV show, she responded, “I feel proud… I’m happy I didn’t let people break me to my core, which I felt production was doing. Hopefully I get a better environment with me choosing to live a different life.”

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